Pricey Abby: I used to be raped by a member of the family and, as a consequence of particular circumstances, advised nobody besides one different member of the family, who I swore to secrecy. She just lately acquired mad at me due to my spiritual beliefs, and now she’s saying if I move away earlier than she does, she’s going to inform my grown kids who assaulted me.
I’m praying she mentioned it out of anger, however I’m scared as a result of I do know my kids would hurt the rapist, if not kill him, for what he did. I can’t perceive why this member of the family would say such a factor. What can I say or do to guard my secret? God has taken care of me, and my violator is locked up now for different causes. — Fearful within the West
Pricey Fearful: If you advised your relative about your rape, it was now not a secret. Since you are actually afraid she is going to inform your kids, strategy her by saying that if she follows by, you concern they’ll take revenge after he’s launched and, by doing so, destroy their very own lives.
Pricey Abby: My husband has most cancers, and the medical doctors say he has perhaps a yr left. Earlier than his analysis, we had associates we’d hang around with and go to dinner with a few times a month. Now I don’t hear a phrase from them. They don’t name or textual content to ask how we’re doing. Is it my accountability to get ahold of them? I really feel like I’m on their lonesome on this combat, they usually don’t appear to care. — Invisible in Iowa
Pricey Invisible: What a tragic letter. Please settle for my sympathy to your husband’s prognosis. This can be a tragic scenario, and never one that you just and your husband must be going through alone. The absence of those associates might have much less to do with lack of caring than an awesome concern of most cancers and an incapability to face their very own mortality.
After all you’ll be able to attain out to them. However after that, in the event that they nonetheless can’t step up, you might need higher luck by becoming a member of a most cancers help group. For those who do, one can find you might be nowhere close to as alone as you assume you might be.
Pricey Abby: I would like recommendation about getting involved with my daughter. She’s 22 and has a busy life. I perceive her struggles with balancing all of the day-to-day commitments, however she won’t return my calls or texts. We’ve had a bruised previous due to my divorce 5 years in the past, however we’ve got talked issues by to the place I really feel we’ve got been repairing outdated wounds.
Each time we’re collectively, it’s as if nothing has marred our relationship. I do know she’s younger, however I must know if I must be extra persistent or simply watch for her to ultimately contact me. — Ready Father or mother in Washington
Pricey Father or mother: You didn’t point out how persistent you could have been, however you received’t turn out to be nearer to your daughter when you hound her with requests for extra contact. She could also be busy, distracted or simply self-centered. Textual content or name her as soon as a month and you’ll have higher luck getting a response.
Pricey Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also referred to as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Pricey Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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