DEAR ABBY: I’m married to a person who’s incarcerated. As you possibly can think about, it’s been onerous on our household. I’ve two children with him. I used to be pregnant with our youngest when he was arrested. In accordance with his mom, since my husband went to jail, I can’t do something proper. She yells at me that she has it worse than I do concerning my husband. Her cause is that she’s his mom, and nothing can change that, whereas I can all the time “throw him away” as a husband. She additionally resented it after I went to counseling as a result of she desires me to inform her my troubles. After I tried, she’d all the time flip it again to her issues. She’s judgmental and imply. She calls it being “outspoken.”
Abby, am I mistaken for being upset? Do you suppose she desires me to divorce her son or one thing? I believe it was impolite and silly of her to say that to me. I married her son and had kids with him. I don’t perceive why she thinks we’re competing. If it’s a contest, we’re each shedding. We each have it dangerous. Simply because she’s having a tough time doesn’t make no matter I’m going by means of any much less dangerous, does it? — CONVICT’S WIFE IN OHIO
DEAR WIFE: I believe there’s nothing your mother-in-law would really like higher than so that you can divorce her son. If you happen to did, she would have him all to her overbearing self. She thinks you might be competing as a result of SHE is. Keep out of her method as a lot as potential till your husband’s launch. Do NOT speak in confidence to her. You will have sufficient to cope with with out her stirring the pot, and you’ll relaxation assured she’s going to.
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DEAR ABBY: I’ve been put in a troublesome place between my daughter and her husband. My daughter, who has a genius IQ, double faculty majors, and so forth., hasn’t labored in a 12 months and a half. Her husband of 4 years has tried to inform her it’s placing a pressure on him, not solely financially, but in addition when it comes to well being. When he went to the hospital, his blood strain was by means of the roof. He even had bloodshot eyes. He says he thinks she’s ready for him to die so she will stay off his funding earnings.
My daughter may be very choosy, and no job appears to be adequate for her. If I intrude, she’ll cease speaking to me, and she or he’ll know he has talked to me, which is able to harm their relationship as properly. What can I do? I would like her to be a productive particular person and never take every little thing with no consideration. — GRASPING AT STRAWS
DEAR GRASPING: The time has come so that you can step again. You possibly can’t management your grownup daughter. Clearly, she and her husband don’t talk successfully. Due to the stress your son-in-law is underneath, his concern that she could also be making an attempt to strain him right into a coronary ought to be mentioned with a wedding and household therapist. He ought to be free to speak with anybody he needs, together with you, and probably a lawyer, and in case your daughter (the genius) can’t settle for it, cease permitting her to make it your drawback.
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Expensive Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also referred to as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Expensive Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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Good recommendation for everybody — teenagers to seniors — is in “The Anger in All of Us and The right way to Deal With It.” To order, ship your title and mailing handle, plus examine or cash order for $8 (U.S. funds) to: Expensive Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Field 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Delivery and dealing with are included within the worth.)
