Expensive Abby: I’m 58 and 5 years into my second marriage. We lived collectively a little bit over a yr earlier than getting married. I spent seven years as a caregiver for my mother and father earlier than marrying my present husband.
We moved to Kentucky from Florida as a result of his mother wanted us shut, however because the transfer, he has grow to be somebody I hardly know. We lastly received his extreme despair beneath management, however he has grow to be petty and vindictive. He’s form of a bully. He watches nothing however conspiracy idea movies on YouTube. I don’t know what to do. He wasn’t that means once we dated.
I used to be planning on leaving in a few years, however it has gotten a little bit higher since he’s on the fitting meds. I have to rebuild my credit score after the previous couple of years and lower your expenses. I’m placing most of my paycheck right into a separate account. However it’s actually onerous to maneuver previous these previous couple of horrible years. He expects me to care for his mother, who deserted him as a baby. I don’t wish to. I actually dislike her. Am I fallacious to nonetheless be pondering of leaving? — Caught Nowhere
Expensive Caught: Your husband might have married you so he’d have somebody to care for his mom. You paid your dues for seven years with your personal mother and father. Remind your husband that you simply moved to Kentucky so HE, not you, may care for his mother, and you’ll not permit him to foist her off on you. Hold salting your cash away, and when you could have sufficient to make a brand new begin, resolve then whether or not you wish to transfer on.
Expensive Abby: I’m a 20-something homosexual male who was seeing a man in his 50s who lives a pair hours away. For nearly two months, we spoke practically each day and noticed one another as time allowed. I believed we had nice chemistry, and I held him in excessive regard. (He even launched me to your column.)
Out of nowhere, he’s saying he feels solely friendship for me and that we aren’t in the identical place emotionally. It’s a complete intestine punch. I really feel like I did or mentioned one thing fallacious, however I don’t know what it’s, so I’m blaming myself. I replay all our conversations and dates in my head, trying to find the place I went fallacious.
How do I break this cycle? And the way can I permit myself to belief different males — particularly older males — after I really feel so burned by my interplay with Mr. Fifties? — Twenty-One thing in Tennesee
Expensive Twenty-One thing: Please cease being so onerous on your self. One thing certainly occurred. Perhaps the chemistry between the 2 of you wasn’t as sturdy as you thought it was. It’s additionally doable that he met somebody and didn’t have the braveness to be trustworthy about it. No matter his purpose, you don’t have any selection however to simply accept that the 2 of you weren’t in the identical place emotionally. It’s time to maneuver on with out assuming that each one older males are the identical.
Expensive Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also called Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Expensive Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
