Pricey Abby: I’m a homosexual man dwelling in a predominantly straight group. A few 12 months in the past, a married couple moved in. At some point, the husband requested me to come back over and assist him put a desk collectively, which I did. He thanked me by opening a bottle of wine. Then he requested me what turns me on. I believed the query was uncommon, however I didn’t maintain again — I confirmed him.
We’ve had extra encounters since then, and now I’m feeling used and eager about telling his spouse. I believe she deserves to know her husband is likely to be homosexual and sleeping with different males. He used some “homosexual lingo” that makes me suppose I might not be the one one.
I heard there have been another neighbors speaking badly about gays, and he didn’t defend or take up for us. That upsets me, too. What do I do? They dwell a number of doorways down, and it’s uncomfortable after I see him and his spouse. She’s at all times waving and is a candy girl. — Rethinking in Florida
Pricey Rethinking: Your mistake was changing into concerned with a married man. You might really feel “used,” however bear in mind, you went into that affair enthusiastically. I don’t suppose you ought to be the individual to inform his spouse her husband is likely to be homosexual. (He may very well be bisexual.) The one that delivers that tidbit must be her husband, if she doesn’t already know. As for you, it’s time to step out of the image, don’t you suppose?
Pricey Abby: I’m a 47-year-old girl who passes for early 30s. I perceive that the majority ladies would pay cash to look 15 years youthful than their age, however individuals typically make and voice assumptions about me which can be annoying.
I’ve by no means felt that individuals take me critically regardless of my two grasp’s levels and the enterprise I began with three areas. For years, I’ve suffered a relentless and insensitive barrage of questions and assumptions about my reproductive standing. I’ve gotten fairly adept at countering “When are you going to have children?” with “God didn’t grant me that superpower, so my husband and I are canine mother and father who get pleasure from happening adventures.”
I’m now going via menopause. Regardless of being on drugs to manage the signs, I typically endure a sizzling flash at work whereas assembly with prospects. I preserve a paper fan at my desk, however I get humorous appears from prospects after I seize it and begin fanning away at my instantly purple and sweaty face.
I’ll often smile and ask for a minute to get better from the recent flash, however I’m inevitably instructed that I’m “too younger” to be experiencing sizzling flashes. If solely that have been true. My intuition is to snarkily counter, “Nicely, my physician would disagree,” however that doesn’t sound pleasant. What would you suggest as an applicable response? — Younger-ish in Missouri
Pricey Younger-ish: If you find yourself instructed you’re “too younger to be going via menopause,” reasonably than snarl, strive SMILING and saying, “Inform that to my physician!” It would get the message throughout with out being confrontational.
P.S. Individuals might not be conscious that menopause has been recognized to strike ladies who’re youthful than you.
Pricey Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also referred to as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Pricey Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
